Port Macquarie Koala Hospital, New South Wales, Australia

Athletic koalas?
It’s always nice to have your illusions shattered. Given that koalas aren’t exactly renowned for their non-stop athleticism at the best of times, you’d hardly expect the unfortunate ones beset by blindness, permanent disabilities and venereal diseases to be little hubs of pure energy.
Well, try telling that to Paddy, who has discharged himself from hospital, and is haring up and down a tree in a bid for freedom.

Koala hospital for chlamydia sufferers
Paddy has chlamydia, an unfortunately common complaint for these sleepy little furballs, and he has been placed in isolation to stop him infecting others. However, the security at the Port Macquarie Koala Hospital, on the North Coast of New South Wales, Australia isn’t watertight, and he’s managed to make his break.

Volunteers give chase
The escapee has caused quite a commotion too, as a troupe of volunteers attempts to stop him running amok. Sending someone up the tree after him would be an obviously fruitless pursuit, so more cunning tactics have to be brought into play.
Apparently, koalas can’t stand things being wafted around their head, so Chris, the hospital’s habitat officer has attached a plastic bag to an extremely long pole.
As he waves it above Paddy’s head, the miscreant scarpers down the tree trunk with surprising speed, and this process continues until he’s near the bottom.
Waiting there to pounce are two volunteers with a sack, hoping to bundle him into it and take him back to the ward.

Benny Hill Show
Paddy is having none of it though, and as soon as he spots a brief respite from the plastic bag of unimaginable terror, he races back up the trunk to the highest branch he can find. The whole process, now beginning to look like something straight out of The Benny Hill Show, is repeated again – and again – until finally the prisoner is dragged kicking and screaming away, clawing his Hessian cage.

Australia’s koala capital
Port Macquarie is arguably Australia’s koala capital. It is surrounded by prime habitat, a gum tree heaven if you will, and the dozy marsupials still thrive here, even though the town is growing at a rapid rate.
The human expansion has been costly for the koala population. As more housing springs up, more trees are cut down, and many of the patients at the hospital are there for man-made reasons.

Mauling and drowning
According to Anne, the volunteer who guides us round, car accidents, maulings from pet dogs and drowning in swimming pools are just three problems the urban koala faces. They may have sharp claws, but they’re hardly likely to win a fight with a narky bull terrier or Holden Monaro. The swimming pools are a more eyebrow-raising problem as, although hardly the Ian Thorpes of the animal world, they can actually swim reasonably well.

Getting out of the swimming pool
The issue, says Anne, is that once in the pool, they can’t get out. The walls of the pool are too steep, and they can’t get a grip on the tiles at the top, so they just tread water and flounder about until they run out of energy and slowly drown.
It’s a pretty horrible way to go, and the hospital is encouraging local residents to put a small rope dangling in their pools so that the wayward adventurers can pull themselves up. Whether it will take on remains to be seen, but the staff at the hospital are determined to prove that not all human interaction with koalas has to be bad.

No Government funding
Set up in 1973 and run almost entirely by good-natured people donating their time, the hospital receives no Government funding. The $140,000 a year it takes to keep operations going comes entirely from donations, be it from visitors, generous benefactors or its adopt-a-koala scheme. Over 100 people volunteer their services in various roles, be it in conducting tours, running the shop or going out at dawn every morning to collect fallen branches from the bush to feed the koalas with.

Hand-reared like a newborn child
The most dedicated of all are those who take the youngest and most needy home with them. They are hand-reared as if a newborn child – including feeding sessions in the middle of the night – until they are of sufficient weight and health to be transferred to the hospital. It’s quite clear that these people care an awful lot about their eucalyptus-munching friends, and this shines through as you’re led through the pens in which the recovering koalas are housed.

Getting to Port Macquarie

Nearest International Airport: Port Macquarie has an airport, but international visitors will have to get a connecting flight from either Brisbane or Sydney

Using public transport: Port Macquarie is 510km south of Brisbane, approximately a seven hour drive, and 450km north of Sydney. It is connected to both by train and bus.

More information: The Koala Hospital can be found in the Macquarie Nature Reserve on Lord Street, a 15-20 minute walk from the city centre. It’s open every day, with feeding time tours conducted at 3pm. Entry and the tours are free, although donations are greatly appreciated.

Falconry lessons in Gloucestershire, England

Handle birds of prey
There is no CV that can’t be substantially beefed up with the addition of falconry in the skills section, and any sane employer has got to be impressed with a candidate that turns up with a tamed hawk on his or her arm. No?
Irrespective of how useful it is, the National Birds of Prey Centre’s five day course is certainly something different. Based in Gloucestershire, England the course trains participants how to handle, care for and hunt with winged predators, including owls and eagles.

More information: The course costs £450 per person and by the end, you should know how to train a bird from scratch.

Anglesea Golf Club in Anglesea, Victoria, Australia: Golf with kangaroos

There is an exceptionally good reason why no mega-money golf tournament will ever be played at Anglesea Golf Club at the start of Victoria’s Great Ocean Road.
The course, about 115km south west of Melbourne, is absolutely teeming with kangaroos. They are as much a hazard of playing there as sand traps, water hazards and sadistically placed pins.
In the early morning and late afternoon in particular, there can be up to 100 of them on the course, hopping across fairways and stopping for a chat on the greens. To the members and locals, they’re an accepted extra dimension to the game.
Many have been hit on the head after not paying attention to the cry of “fore”, and club legend has it that a drive once landed in a pouch, with the lucky recipient nonchalantly bouncing away. Whether it was decided that this warranted a penalty shot is not quite clear.
Green fees at the club are quite cheap, so visitors wanting to try and dodge Skippy are welcome to have a go.

Getting to Anglesea Golf Club, Australia

Nearest international airport: Melbourne International Airport at Tullamarine, Melbourne, Victoria. That said, Avalon Airport near Geelong is closer for domestic flights within Australia.
Using public transport: Get the train (or bus) from Melbourne to Geelong, and then the V-Line train to Anglesea.

More details: Anglesea Golf Club Website

Snake charmers at Djemaa el-Fna in Marrakech, Morocco

Djemaa el-Fna is the central square of Marrakech's Medina - but the snake charmers mean there's a lot more to it than eating Moroccan tagines and admiring the architecture.

Marrakech’s glorious central square
All I wanted was a photo, but it’s rather hard to stroll through Marrakech’s glorious central square without being molested by snakes.
There are snake charmers everywhere in Djemaa el-Fna, all itching to grab as much tourist dollar as possible.
Step back from a Moroccan who’s waving a python at you with scarcely concealed menace, and you’re liable to bump into another wielding something more deadly.

Covered in snakes
Don’t make the mistake of giving in and nervously posing for the photo, though, as you’ll be absolutely covered in them.
One round the neck, one on the head, a few cobras round the feet that have just been woken up and antagonised with a tambourine... that sort of thing. And the cheeky buggers who’ve just commandeered your camera expect you to smile.
The problems, of course, start when the snakes are removed.
The charmers appear to believe that such a terrifying ordeal is worth hundreds of dirhams, and seem mighty put out when you just hand over a small note as ‘thanks’.

Getting to Djemaa el-Fna in Marrakech

Nearest International Airport: Marrakech Menara Airport is a short drive south-west of the city centre.

Using public transport: The main bus station is roughly a 20 minute walk north-east of Djemaa el-Fna. But that timing is rather dependent on not getting lost in the maze of souqs.

The Barbary Apes of Gibraltar

The tiny British territory of Gibraltar is essentially one big rock, and for a long time it was under control of the British military.
If there’s any uncertainty about who’s in charge now, head on up there with a plastic bag full of food.
The Barbary apes are at the same time the best loved and most cursed inhabitants of Gibraltar. Technically, they’re Barbary macaques, but almost no-one calls them that – and they roam free across the Upper Rock.
Aside from a colony that was taken from Gibraltar to Germany, they are the only wild apes in Europe. Superstition has it that if the popular primates ever leave, the British will lose Gibraltar. In World War II, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill ordered that the numbers should be topped up – just in case.
They’re incredibly entertaining. Some just sit staring out over the Mediterranean Sea to Spain and Morocco, but others are far more active. And that can mean jumping on top of buses, trying to steal any food going, or running away with camera straps.
Signs warn tourists about their monkey business, but visitors still get jumped out, robbed and – if they’re really stupid – bitten or scratched.
But for those who take care, and don’t take food, the Barbary apes (or macaques) are totally adorable.

Getting there:
Nearest International Airport: Gibraltar has its own airport, though flights only tend to go there from Spain and the UK. Otherwise, Malaga and Jerez are nearby. The ferry from Tangier in Morocco is another alternative.
By public transport: The best way of getting up to the Upper Rock, and where the monkeys are is either on a tour or in the spectacular cable car that goes from ground level.

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Cuddle a koala
As I gently stroke her neck, ruffling her hair, Elise moves closer. I can feel the pounding of her heart, her warmth against my chest. Moving my hand down her back, she reaches for me, sliding her delicate wrist and hand further up my shoulder.
If Elise wasn’t a koala, this would be a truly romantic moment. As it is, she’s rather hairy and definitely not my type, but despite attempts to pretend I am being gruff and manly, I can’t help going “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww cuuuuute!” inside.

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary
The Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane, Australia is one of the few places in the country, let alone the world, where you can get this up close and personal with a koala. The cuddling is strictly not allowed south of the Queensland border, and Lone Pine, being rather big, has a crack squad of koalas that can hug ever the sternest soul into submission.
There are strict rules that govern the man to beast bonding. The little furry things can only be handled for half an hour at a time, and must get every fourth day off. This ensures that they get plenty of time to eat and sleep, and aren’t just passed around like the salt pot at a High Cholesterol Anonymous dinner party.

Koalas? Dull?
I have to confess that, before this point, I have never been the greatest fan of koalas. From previous experience, they are really dull creatures, constantly sleeping and about as liable to do entertaining tricks as the world’s worst magician. However, here there must be something extra-special in the eucalyptus leaves. They actually do things, and two little cubs steal the show by clambering on each other, scurrying across the floor and leapfrogging their parents. I’m sorry koalas – I was completely wrong about you in the past.

Getting to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary

Nearest International Airport: Brisbane

Using public transport: Get bus number 430 from George Street.

More information: Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary

Tour Chernobyl from Kiev, Ukraine

Holiday destinations don’t get any more unusual than the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. But it is possible to go on a deeply disturbing day trip to the scene of the world’s worst ever nuclear disaster.
The day trip starts from the Ukrainian capital, Kiev, and takes visitors within 100m of Reactor Number Four. This was the one that exploded in the early hours of April 26th 1986, spreading a cloud of radiation as far as Scandinavia.
There are many disturbing things about the tour. Sights on the way to the world’s most notorious nuclear power plant include trees turned red by the radiation, giant catfish swimming in the cooling ponds and houses buried underground in order to contain the contamination.
At all times, the tour guide has a Geiger counter to monitor the levels of radiation the group is being exposed to, while safety precautions include not standing on the moss and not picking up stones or debris.
Reactor Four at Chernobyl is a truly frightening sight. No-one really knows what is going on underneath the cement ‘sarcophagus’, and – most alarmingly – it is clearly crumbling.
It was originally a makeshift containment solution, and a new multi-billion dollar shelter is planned, but for now it’s quite clear that the prospect of a second Chernobyl disaster is not exactly in the realms of fantasy.

Getting to Chernobyl, Ukraine

Nearest international airport: Kiev Borispol
Using public transport: It’s not going to happen. Special permission is needed to enter the 30km-radius exclusion zone around Chernobyl, and the only way to get it is joining a tour group. Solo East Travel is the best bet. The zone is approximately two to two-and-a-half hours drive north of Kiev.