The Bognor International Birdman Contest - Bognor Regis, England

Men (and women) were not born to fly, and should any further evidence of this be needed, then the annual Bognor International Birdman competition in Sussex, England is ample proof.
Held on the first weekend of September every year, this is a contest between eccentrics, fancy dress enthusiasts and wannabe aviation pioneers to see who can fly the furthest after running off Bognor's pier.
Some take it rather seriously, spending a small fortune adapting their hang-gliders into fancy flying machines. Alas, these noble inventors rarely get much further than the comedy entrants dressed as fairies, pirates, library books and cowering donkeys.
Any competitor that manages to fly 100m off the pier under their own power wins a GBP25,000 prize.
However, the contest has been going since 1971, and no-one has yet managed to conquer that distance.
So, while there is a vague element of serious competition, the whole event is largely about giving the general public a chance to watch a lot of people in silly costumes making an exhibition of themselves.
And getting very wet.

Getting to Bognor Regis, England

Nearest international airport: London Gatwick is the closest, although Bournemouth and London Heathrow are fairly accessible from Bognor Regis.

Using public transport: Bognor Regis is in Sussex, on the the south coast of England. The nearest major city is Brighton, from which there are regular buses and trains. However, there are also regular trains from Central London and Clapham Junction station, from where the journey should take just over an hour.

More details: Bognor Internationial Birdman Official Site

Water-jousting in Languedoc, France

At some point in the distant past, the French decided that you don’t need a horse to be a knight in shining armour, and the truly bizarre sport of water jousting was born.
Practiced increasingly across France, it involves two groups of eight rowers powering their champion down the river.
Perched on a heightened platform, the two jousters are armed with a lance and a shield and expected to prod, swing and defend until one of them is knocked off, preferably into the river.
For some reason, the boats also contain a drummer and someone playing a modified oboe, but given that the rest of it makes little sense, who cares? Oh yes, and they’re all singing too.
Languedoc is regarded as the home of water jousting, and while it also happens elsewhere, this is often with ultra-safe lances, and a lot of the pageantry taken out.
The most prestigious tournament is held in Sète on August 25th every year, but events can be stumbled across throughout the summer.

More information: Rules and dates can be found at the Fédération Française de Joutes et Sauvetage Nautique’s website.

Great Gorilla Run in London, England

There’s nothing better to send traffic veering into bollards than the sight of a thousand gorillas rampaging through the streets of London, brandishing bananas as weapons.
Ostensibly run to raise funding for the protection of gorillas in Africa, most of the Great Gorilla Run’s participants are clearly there for the chance to get dressed up in a ridiculous costume and monkey about for the cameras.
The costumes don’t stop at the gorilla outfit either – most taking on the 7km run adapt their outfit to add an extra dimension; hence the gladiator gorillas, Baywatch gorillas and ballet dancing gorillas pouring over Tower Bridge. The Great Gorilla Run takes place in September each year.
Check the official site for more information.

Getting there to the Great Gorilla Run in London, England

Nearest international airport: The event takes place in the City of London, so London Heathrow and London City are nearest airports, although London Luton, London Gatwick and London Stansted aren’t far away.

Using public transport: The event takes place in the City of London, so London Heathrow and London City are nearest airports, although London Luton, London Gatwick and London Stansted aren’t far away.

More details: Great Gorilla Run Official Site

Hounen Matsuri Penis Festival in Komaki, Japan

Forget February 14th and try March 15th if you prefer the romantic sight of twelve foot penis being carried through the streets to flowers and chocolates.
Hounen Matsuri is an ancient Japanese fertility rite, which involves a group of 42-year-old men (42 is thought to be an unlucky age in Japan) carrying a comically oversized phallus towards a shrine.
They are backed up by a group of ladies carrying smaller versions of the big bruiser, and it is considered lucky for members of the crowd to touch the traditional todgers as they make their way through the streets.
Those who can’t quite get close enough to gain the immeasurable benefits of handling the goods can settle for second best with all manner of genitalia regalia that is sold in shops and souvenir stalls on the day. Maybe a lollipop? Or a keyring? Either way, there are plenty of phallic presents that will make an excellent present for grandma.

Boomerang-throwing in Charleville-Mézières, France

Despite being more popularly associated with Crocodile Dundee and the Australian outback, France has taken the boomerang to heart, and is at the forefront of turning into an international sport.
It all kicked off properly in Charleville-Mézières in the Ardennes, where a sketchily-organised world championship was held in 2004.
From that point, the world’s boomerang-throwing federations got together in order to make the rules agreed upon internationally. It’s never going to overtake football, but the sport is growing at a phenomenal rate, and there are now 21 clubs across France who regular travel huge distances to compete against each other.
There are various events in these contests, some specialising in accuracy, some in endurance, and some in showing off with fancy catches. France currently has one world record-holder too, with Arnaud Tribillon managing to keep one of the old Aboriginal Australian hunting devices airborne for 190.2 seconds in Dijon last year.
Tournaments are held throughout the year, and given the small attendances, there’s a real feeling of discovery when you turn up to watch. Charleville-Mézières is still a major staging post, but a list of tournaments can be found at the French Boomerang Federation’s online arm.