Water-jousting in Languedoc, France

At some point in the distant past, the French decided that you don’t need a horse to be a knight in shining armour, and the truly bizarre sport of water jousting was born.
Practiced increasingly across France, it involves two groups of eight rowers powering their champion down the river.
Perched on a heightened platform, the two jousters are armed with a lance and a shield and expected to prod, swing and defend until one of them is knocked off, preferably into the river.
For some reason, the boats also contain a drummer and someone playing a modified oboe, but given that the rest of it makes little sense, who cares? Oh yes, and they’re all singing too.
Languedoc is regarded as the home of water jousting, and while it also happens elsewhere, this is often with ultra-safe lances, and a lot of the pageantry taken out.
The most prestigious tournament is held in Sète on August 25th every year, but events can be stumbled across throughout the summer.

More information: Rules and dates can be found at the Fédération Française de Joutes et Sauvetage Nautique’s website.

Play or watch Pétanque in France

For a stereotypical image of France, aside from a man in a stripy shirt with onions round his neck underneath the Eiffel tower, you cannot beat a game of boules.
Ah... old men - preferably wearing berets and smoking pipes - leisurely lobbing metal balls into a sandpit in the afternoon sunshine.
The idea is fairly simple, and is closely related to the British version of bowling. The closer you get to the small jack, the better.
Pétanque is the more simplified version of boules, and originated in the south of the country, where it is more prevalent. Ostensibly, it is played for fun, although it doesn’t take much watching to realise that this isn’t the case. At even the lowest level, it is regarded as a game of precision and technique, and this has a tendency to fuel male pride.
It’s important to bear this in mind if you fancy a game. A complete stranger is unlikely to offer you the chance to play, while if you buy your own set of boules, consider the serious looks on the faces around you before treating it as a raucous lark in the local Boulodrome.
Should you wish to watch, then Grenoble is something of a hotspot. The city at the foot of the Alps has held three of the last five World Championships in the sport, hosting competitors from 52 nations.
However, for a dip into history, try the small village of La Ciotat. Just outside Marseille, this is where the game originated.

Republique du Saugeais in France

The not-so-grand République du Saugeais is perhaps the only ‘country’ in the world that started as a joke.
In Eastern France, near the Swiss border, Saugeais started on its road to independence when a local hotelier jokingly asked the visiting regional prefect if he had a passport to enter.
The prefect then went and researched the area’s history and decided it should indeed be independent. He declared the hotelier to be the president.
And so a proud micronation was born, although there’s not really all that much to see.
Two retired farmers in fancy uniform man the border, while highlights for visitors include Montbenoît Abbey, lots of rolling countryside and plenty of cheese makers churning out the national cheese. Just don’t forget your passport

Mulhouse’s Wallpaper Museum - Musée de Papier Peint in Rixheim, France

There can be few people in the world who love bizarre museums as much as I do. If it’s focused on a disturbingly specific subject matter and cannot possibly be financially viable to run, then I’m all for it.
But sometimes one of these museums can seem a little bit too dull even to me. Step forward France’s finest (and only) museum of wallpaper
Since 1797, the small municipality of Rixheim (near Mulhouse and the Swiss border) has been based on the manufacture of wallpaper. The craft still continues today and, to celebrate, the Musée de Papier Peint can tell you everything you could possibly wish to know about changing tastes in wallpaper over the centuries. Yawn.
If this somehow strikes as being slightly less than exciting, then true purists will be delighted to hear that the machinery on which the wallpaper is made can also be gazed upon.
Oh yes, and demonstrations take place at 3.30pm on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays during the hectic summer tourist season.
Don’t all rush at once to book a holiday in Mulhouse now, will you?

More information: Musée de Papier Peint

Boomerang-throwing in Charleville-Mézières, France

Despite being more popularly associated with Crocodile Dundee and the Australian outback, France has taken the boomerang to heart, and is at the forefront of turning into an international sport.
It all kicked off properly in Charleville-Mézières in the Ardennes, where a sketchily-organised world championship was held in 2004.
From that point, the world’s boomerang-throwing federations got together in order to make the rules agreed upon internationally. It’s never going to overtake football, but the sport is growing at a phenomenal rate, and there are now 21 clubs across France who regular travel huge distances to compete against each other.
There are various events in these contests, some specialising in accuracy, some in endurance, and some in showing off with fancy catches. France currently has one world record-holder too, with Arnaud Tribillon managing to keep one of the old Aboriginal Australian hunting devices airborne for 190.2 seconds in Dijon last year.
Tournaments are held throughout the year, and given the small attendances, there’s a real feeling of discovery when you turn up to watch. Charleville-Mézières is still a major staging post, but a list of tournaments can be found at the French Boomerang Federation’s online arm.

Pelote in St Jean de la Luz, Basque France

Played primarily in the Basque regions of far south western France, the most extreme forms of pelote look like squash as played by those with a death wish.
To reduce it to the simplest level, pelote involves hurling a tightly-wound ball against the wall, hoping to do it so well that the opposition cannot return fire. Given that the ball can be travelling at speeds of up to 180mph, it’s a wonder that anyone would want to try and get it back.
That the sport has not really ventured for out of southern France and northern Spain comes as no great surprise. There are many versions of the game, played with different instruments, ranging from the bare hand to frightening basket-like Chistera, which can send the ball hurtling at very painful speeds indeed.
While the courts can be found in just about every town in the area, they are of varying size, ranging from 30m to 80m. The major hub of pelote activity is in St Jean De Luz, a fishing port south of Biarritz, and most competitive matches of a good standard are played here at International Arena Jaï Alaï during the summer months.
The truly brave/ barking mad can hire equipment to try the sport out at the town’s tourist office.

Palace of Versailles near Paris, France

When Louis XIV of France’s finance minister made himself a hugely expensive château at Vaux-le-Vimcomte, the young king was outraged that his majesty was being overshadowed.
Taking the mature approach to the situation, he had Nicholas Fouquet arrested, stole his design team and set to work on something even more overblown.
The result was the Palace of Versailles near Paris, justifiably one of France’s great tourist draws. With adjustment for inflation, the gigantic royal residence cost the French economy billions, but it suited Louis’ purposes. His court and every arm of the Government was run from Versailles, meaning he kept those who would plot against him within close reach.
Today, much of the palace can be explored, although a large part of it is available only on a guided tour.
Amongst the things that will send jaws to the floor are the chapel, the expansive and immaculately kept gardens and the famous Hall of Mirrors. The latter, if nothing else, shows that whatever the pragmatic reasons for building the palace, vanity often came first.