Athletic koalas?
It’s always nice to have your illusions shattered. Given that koalas aren’t exactly renowned for their non-stop athleticism at the best of times, you’d hardly expect the unfortunate ones beset by blindness, permanent disabilities and venereal diseases to be little hubs of pure energy.
Well, try telling that to Paddy, who has discharged himself from hospital, and is haring up and down a tree in a bid for freedom.
Koala hospital for chlamydia sufferers
Paddy has chlamydia, an unfortunately common complaint for these sleepy little furballs, and he has been placed in isolation to stop him infecting others. However, the security at the Port Macquarie Koala Hospital, on the North Coast of New South Wales, Australia isn’t watertight, and he’s managed to make his break.
Volunteers give chase
The escapee has caused quite a commotion too, as a troupe of volunteers attempts to stop him running amok. Sending someone up the tree after him would be an obviously fruitless pursuit, so more cunning tactics have to be brought into play.
Apparently, koalas can’t stand things being wafted around their head, so Chris, the hospital’s habitat officer has attached a plastic bag to an extremely long pole.
As he waves it above Paddy’s head, the miscreant scarpers down the tree trunk with surprising speed, and this process continues until he’s near the bottom.
Waiting there to pounce are two volunteers with a sack, hoping to bundle him into it and take him back to the ward.
Benny Hill Show
Paddy is having none of it though, and as soon as he spots a brief respite from the plastic bag of unimaginable terror, he races back up the trunk to the highest branch he can find. The whole process, now beginning to look like something straight out of The Benny Hill Show, is repeated again – and again – until finally the prisoner is dragged kicking and screaming away, clawing his Hessian cage.
Australia’s koala capital
Port Macquarie is arguably Australia’s koala capital. It is surrounded by prime habitat, a gum tree heaven if you will, and the dozy marsupials still thrive here, even though the town is growing at a rapid rate.
The human expansion has been costly for the koala population. As more housing springs up, more trees are cut down, and many of the patients at the hospital are there for man-made reasons.
Mauling and drowning
According to Anne, the volunteer who guides us round, car accidents, maulings from pet dogs and drowning in swimming pools are just three problems the urban koala faces. They may have sharp claws, but they’re hardly likely to win a fight with a narky bull terrier or Holden Monaro. The swimming pools are a more eyebrow-raising problem as, although hardly the Ian Thorpes of the animal world, they can actually swim reasonably well.
Getting out of the swimming pool
The issue, says Anne, is that once in the pool, they can’t get out. The walls of the pool are too steep, and they can’t get a grip on the tiles at the top, so they just tread water and flounder about until they run out of energy and slowly drown.
It’s a pretty horrible way to go, and the hospital is encouraging local residents to put a small rope dangling in their pools so that the wayward adventurers can pull themselves up. Whether it will take on remains to be seen, but the staff at the hospital are determined to prove that not all human interaction with koalas has to be bad.
No Government funding
Set up in 1973 and run almost entirely by good-natured people donating their time, the hospital receives no Government funding. The $140,000 a year it takes to keep operations going comes entirely from donations, be it from visitors, generous benefactors or its adopt-a-koala scheme. Over 100 people volunteer their services in various roles, be it in conducting tours, running the shop or going out at dawn every morning to collect fallen branches from the bush to feed the koalas with.
Hand-reared like a newborn child
The most dedicated of all are those who take the youngest and most needy home with them. They are hand-reared as if a newborn child – including feeding sessions in the middle of the night – until they are of sufficient weight and health to be transferred to the hospital. It’s quite clear that these people care an awful lot about their eucalyptus-munching friends, and this shines through as you’re led through the pens in which the recovering koalas are housed.
Getting to Port Macquarie
Nearest International Airport: Port Macquarie has an airport, but international visitors will have to get a connecting flight from either Brisbane or Sydney
Using public transport: Port Macquarie is 510km south of Brisbane, approximately a seven hour drive, and 450km north of Sydney. It is connected to both by train and bus.
More information: The Koala Hospital can be found in the Macquarie Nature Reserve on Lord Street, a 15-20 minute walk from the city centre. It’s open every day, with feeding time tours conducted at 3pm. Entry and the tours are free, although donations are greatly appreciated.
Showing posts with label Australia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Australia. Show all posts
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
Stromatolites at Hamelin Pools in Shark Bay, Western Australia
Oldest living things on earth
Whilst they’re about as interesting to watch as a mime version of Dances With Wolves, stromatolites are fascinating.
Made up of single cell organisms called cyanobacteria, they have been around for 3.5 billion years. In fact, they are the oldest living things on earth, and without them, we probably wouldn’t be here.
Creating oxygen
Stromatolites have played a huge part in creating an atmosphere that we can survive in. They create oxygen as a waste product, and without that, we’d quite frankly be long gone.
Until 1956, scientists thought they no longer existed. Fossilised examples had been found in old rocks, but none still alive.
Hamelin Pools at Shark Bay
That was the year that millions of living stromatolites were found in the Hamelin Pools of Shark Bay in Western Australia. More have since been found in the Bahamas, but the extremely salty water of Hamelin Pools has allowed this ancient life to survive undetected.
World Heritage-listed
They are the main reason that Shark Bay is World Heritage-listed, and whilst they don’t exactly entertain, such history has an incredibly mesmerising quality.
Getting to Shark Bay
A viewing platform, board walk and information about the Hamelin Pools stromatolites can be found 105km from Denham in Shark Bay. Denham is 842km north of Perth, Australia and Hamelin Pools is on the way. Try the Shark Bay office of the Department of Conservation And Land Management to find out more.
Whilst they’re about as interesting to watch as a mime version of Dances With Wolves, stromatolites are fascinating.
Made up of single cell organisms called cyanobacteria, they have been around for 3.5 billion years. In fact, they are the oldest living things on earth, and without them, we probably wouldn’t be here.
Creating oxygen
Stromatolites have played a huge part in creating an atmosphere that we can survive in. They create oxygen as a waste product, and without that, we’d quite frankly be long gone.
Until 1956, scientists thought they no longer existed. Fossilised examples had been found in old rocks, but none still alive.
Hamelin Pools at Shark Bay
That was the year that millions of living stromatolites were found in the Hamelin Pools of Shark Bay in Western Australia. More have since been found in the Bahamas, but the extremely salty water of Hamelin Pools has allowed this ancient life to survive undetected.
World Heritage-listed
They are the main reason that Shark Bay is World Heritage-listed, and whilst they don’t exactly entertain, such history has an incredibly mesmerising quality.
Getting to Shark Bay
A viewing platform, board walk and information about the Hamelin Pools stromatolites can be found 105km from Denham in Shark Bay. Denham is 842km north of Perth, Australia and Hamelin Pools is on the way. Try the Shark Bay office of the Department of Conservation And Land Management to find out more.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Museum – Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
The return of the freak show
In this day and age, a few fine old entertainments of the past border on taboo. The travelling freak show has long since been consigned to history; we’re encouraged to display sympathy towards the excessively tall, fat or hairy rather than point and coo. The bearded ladies of the 21st century will just shave it off, while the money-spinning grotesques can simply go under the surgeon’s knife.
However, there are a few last outposts of this bygone era still hanging on in there which haven’t been overrun by people pointing out that gawking at giants is a bit wrong, and, surprisingly, one of them can be found in the main shopping mall in Surfers Paradise, Australia.
Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Museum
The Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Museum in Cavill Mall is packed with the weird, wonderful and downright bizarre. It’s got shrunken heads found in Ecuador, pictures of a woman who could insert a hubcap in her lip and a scale model of the tallest man who ever lived, complete with his size 37AA shoes.
Unfortunately, these discoveries were those of a rampant egomaniac. Robert Ripley was the man behind the antiquated newspaper column which the museum is based on, and you’re not allowed to forget it.
Despite him being a complete irrelevance to 99% of the people looking round, a disturbing percentage of the museum is dedicated to photos of him and his life story, complete with some truly clunky, nasty Americanised branding.
It’s a shame, because once beyond the ridiculous self-indulgence, there are some quite fascinating things to take in.
Napoleon’s signatures
Whilst full of seemingly random artefacts, the cabinets also have some intriguing bits of information. For example, amongst a selection of Napoleon’s signatures (all completely different, which no doubt caused havoc at the bank) is the titbit that the French battle fanatic invented the modern house numbering system. Never knew that…
And, while we’re on it, did you know that the human tongue doesn’t age? Well, that’s the sort of useless, but brilliant, information to expect.
17 inch dwarf
But it’s not facts that you come for; it’s freaks, and there are plenty of them. A Cyclops goat, a headless hen, a man with a wooden rail through his chest, and a 17 inch dwarf imprisoned in a parrot cage for treason. Ah, just like the good old days…
Getting to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum on the Gold Coast, Queensland
Nearest international airport: A close run thing between Brisbane International Airport and the Gold Coast airport at Coolangatta. Budget Airlines are beginning to run cheap international flights from there.
Using public transport: Take any bus going into the centre of Surfers Paradise.
More information: Ripley’s
Friday, 26 September 2008
Daly Waters Pub in Australia’s Northern Territory
Remember to stop at the traffic lights
The Northern Territory town of Daly Waters, miles from anywhere, has a big history, an iconic pub and a very irritating set of traffic lights.
We’ve all been there. Trapped at a red light for seemingly decades for no apparent reason, tapping on the steering wheel in an increasing frenzy of impatience and silently berating the idiot who is in charge of traffic flow.
Well, if the whole waiting at the lights thing winds you up, then it’s probably best to avoid the Northern Territory town of Daly Waters. Outside the local pub is what the residents proudly boast is the world’s most remote set of traffic lights. You’ve got to give them that – there probably isn’t another one for at least 500km in any direction, and the chances of there being enough traffic to cause a nasty snarl up at the crossroads is even more remote. No, congestion control and accident prevention aren’t the priorities in this little backwater; it’s all about entertainment. Much to the howling amusement of those who set it up, the lights are permanently set to red in an attempt to trick as many visitors as possible as they foolishly slow down and wait for green. It is, quite literally, a tourist trap.
World famous pub
The town is most famous for its pub, and quite rightly so. It is truly something special, and is covered in what can only be described as tat from across the world. Business cards, postcards, foreign currency, passport photographs, driving licences… By the looks of it, most that have visited have left something behind, and it has been put up on the walls, crammed between bus tickets, train passes and rather unpleasant-looking underwear. Well, you wouldn’t leave your best pair behind, would you? Even so, it’s so dusty, shapeless and discoloured that you’d struggle to believe anyone would wear in the first place.
Visitors from Chile to Berlin
That so much from around the world has come together in such a remote place is staggering. Student cards from Chile mix with Berlin underground tickets and scenic photos of Galway countryside sit alongside rather less scenic pictures of maple leaf tattoos on a Canadian bottom. You could spend hours strolling around, reading everything, and notching up the nationalities. If you ever fancy a quick round-the-world trip, or a spot of identity fraud, then this is the place to come. During the day, the tour buses stop by, and another set of visitors from around the world gets to leave their mark. The locals look on somewhat bemused but they’ve long since got used to the strange procession of litterbug foreigners. It’s almost as entertaining as watching the people at the lights
Big barbecue and fresh barramundi
The evening is when the Daly Waters pub really comes into its own, though. That’s when the big barbie comes out and new-fangled things such as vegetarianism are mercilessly shunned. Salad is what food eats in this neck of the woods, although there will be a sprinkling of it available. Frankly you don’t need lettuce leaves when the steaks are top quality and the barramundi is fresh out of the river. Once you’ve tasted it, you won’t really care too much about the traffic anyway.
Getting to The Daly Waters pub
Nearest International Airport: Darwin, but that’s a fair trek.
Using public transport: Forget it – either rent a car or join a tour between Darwin and Alice Springs. Daly Waters is 7km off the Stuart Highway, 275km south of Katherine.
More information: Daly Waters Pub
The Northern Territory town of Daly Waters, miles from anywhere, has a big history, an iconic pub and a very irritating set of traffic lights.
We’ve all been there. Trapped at a red light for seemingly decades for no apparent reason, tapping on the steering wheel in an increasing frenzy of impatience and silently berating the idiot who is in charge of traffic flow.
Well, if the whole waiting at the lights thing winds you up, then it’s probably best to avoid the Northern Territory town of Daly Waters. Outside the local pub is what the residents proudly boast is the world’s most remote set of traffic lights. You’ve got to give them that – there probably isn’t another one for at least 500km in any direction, and the chances of there being enough traffic to cause a nasty snarl up at the crossroads is even more remote. No, congestion control and accident prevention aren’t the priorities in this little backwater; it’s all about entertainment. Much to the howling amusement of those who set it up, the lights are permanently set to red in an attempt to trick as many visitors as possible as they foolishly slow down and wait for green. It is, quite literally, a tourist trap.
World famous pub
The town is most famous for its pub, and quite rightly so. It is truly something special, and is covered in what can only be described as tat from across the world. Business cards, postcards, foreign currency, passport photographs, driving licences… By the looks of it, most that have visited have left something behind, and it has been put up on the walls, crammed between bus tickets, train passes and rather unpleasant-looking underwear. Well, you wouldn’t leave your best pair behind, would you? Even so, it’s so dusty, shapeless and discoloured that you’d struggle to believe anyone would wear in the first place.
Visitors from Chile to Berlin
That so much from around the world has come together in such a remote place is staggering. Student cards from Chile mix with Berlin underground tickets and scenic photos of Galway countryside sit alongside rather less scenic pictures of maple leaf tattoos on a Canadian bottom. You could spend hours strolling around, reading everything, and notching up the nationalities. If you ever fancy a quick round-the-world trip, or a spot of identity fraud, then this is the place to come. During the day, the tour buses stop by, and another set of visitors from around the world gets to leave their mark. The locals look on somewhat bemused but they’ve long since got used to the strange procession of litterbug foreigners. It’s almost as entertaining as watching the people at the lights
Big barbecue and fresh barramundi
The evening is when the Daly Waters pub really comes into its own, though. That’s when the big barbie comes out and new-fangled things such as vegetarianism are mercilessly shunned. Salad is what food eats in this neck of the woods, although there will be a sprinkling of it available. Frankly you don’t need lettuce leaves when the steaks are top quality and the barramundi is fresh out of the river. Once you’ve tasted it, you won’t really care too much about the traffic anyway.
Getting to The Daly Waters pub
Nearest International Airport: Darwin, but that’s a fair trek.
Using public transport: Forget it – either rent a car or join a tour between Darwin and Alice Springs. Daly Waters is 7km off the Stuart Highway, 275km south of Katherine.
More information: Daly Waters Pub
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Berry, New South Wales – Australia’s Novelty Shop Town
Pity the poor resident of Berry, Australia who wants a loaf of bread and bottle of milk. For such a small town, it has the most bewildering array of shopping. However, the amount of things that are actually useful can be counted on one hand. A disfigured hand, at that.
For some unknown reason, any Australian that has every dreamed of selling something of such narrow interest that there isn’t possibly a market for it has descended on Berry, and they are thriving.
A ramble down Queen Street in the New South Wales town is truly enthralling. You can buy sundials, cuckoo clocks, lizards made out of recycled metal and a ceramic biscuit jar in the shape of an elephant in high heels, sitting on an armchair. Are people actually buying this stuff?
If not, they are certainly not buying the fountain with two pigs playing tongue tennis inside it, the big furry owl in the castle turret, the acres of fake fruit and jester outfits.
It is all quite, quite surreal. Berry is the epitome of quaint, from the ye olde buildings to the bales of hay on the pavement of the high street. It’s undeniably gripping too, especially for those fond of people watching.
The British tourists are easy to spot – they’re the ones raiding the sweet shop and taking out the entire supply of biscuits thought long extinct. Then there’s those browsing the shops. Is anyone going to buy the granny nighties that everyone seems to have on prominent display? And perhaps more intriguingly, is anyone going to be fooled by an antiques shop that contains a glass model of the Sydney Opera House (opened in the ancient year of 1973)?
Getting to Berry, New South Wales, Australia
Nearest International Airport: Sydney Kingsford Smith airport
Using Public Transport: Berry is about 2 ½ hours drive south of Sydney. It is also on the South Coast train line from Sydney Central.
More information: Berry Website
For some unknown reason, any Australian that has every dreamed of selling something of such narrow interest that there isn’t possibly a market for it has descended on Berry, and they are thriving.
A ramble down Queen Street in the New South Wales town is truly enthralling. You can buy sundials, cuckoo clocks, lizards made out of recycled metal and a ceramic biscuit jar in the shape of an elephant in high heels, sitting on an armchair. Are people actually buying this stuff?
If not, they are certainly not buying the fountain with two pigs playing tongue tennis inside it, the big furry owl in the castle turret, the acres of fake fruit and jester outfits.
It is all quite, quite surreal. Berry is the epitome of quaint, from the ye olde buildings to the bales of hay on the pavement of the high street. It’s undeniably gripping too, especially for those fond of people watching.
The British tourists are easy to spot – they’re the ones raiding the sweet shop and taking out the entire supply of biscuits thought long extinct. Then there’s those browsing the shops. Is anyone going to buy the granny nighties that everyone seems to have on prominent display? And perhaps more intriguingly, is anyone going to be fooled by an antiques shop that contains a glass model of the Sydney Opera House (opened in the ancient year of 1973)?
Getting to Berry, New South Wales, Australia
Nearest International Airport: Sydney Kingsford Smith airport
Using Public Transport: Berry is about 2 ½ hours drive south of Sydney. It is also on the South Coast train line from Sydney Central.
More information: Berry Website
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Clog Barn and Little Holland in Coffs Harbour, New South Wales, Australia
In a country with such an obvious European heritage, it is only natural that some things will have come over from that continent with the settlers. Some of these are obvious – everyone speaks English, whilst just about every town in Australia will have an Irish pub, Italian restaurant and Greek kebab house.
However, every now and then you come across a glorious little pocket that has not tried to blend into the multi-cultural surroundings, and is absolute determined to retain the characteristics of the motherland.
For no discernable reason, completely at odds with the surrounding towns, you will stumble upon oompah bands in German villages in the Adelaide Hills (Hahndorf), or Spanish monastic communities an hour’s drive away from Perth (New Norcia).
Little Holland
Deserving a special mention for sheer bloody-mindedness, however, is Little Holland near Coffs Harbour, New South Wales. Clearly unable to persuade the rest of the area that they should build cannabis cafes, stick their fingers in dykes and revel in red light districts, proud Dutchman Tom Hartsuyker has cornered off his own piece of (flat) land, and has filled it with every other national stereotype he can think of.
The result is a 1/20 scale model village built over five tedious years, and it is a work of truly breathtaking pointlessness. Still, if making miniature windmills keeps him out of trouble and off the streets, then fair play to him.
Just in case that’s not quite Dutch enough, it is attached to a clog barn. Happily ignoring the fact that no-one, even in Holland, has worn clogs for roughly 200 years, they are on sale here.
At 11am and 4pm every day, there are clog-making demonstrations. Again, they are strangely endearing, even if everyone is looking at each other, sniggering under their hands and scratching their foreheads.
Getting to the Clog Barn and Little Holland, Coffs Harbour
Nearest International Airport: Coffs Harbour has its own airport, but it only receives domestic flights. Coffs itself is roughly half way between Sydney and Brisbane, and thus a long drive from either. The best option is to fly into Sydney Kingsford Smith and then get a connecting flight.
Within Coffs Harbour: The Clog Barn and Little Holland is on the north side of Coffs Harbour, on the highway out of town – on the way to The Big Banana. Entry to the Clog Barn and the demonstrations are free, but you’ll have to fork out to see the model village and railway.
More information: The Clog Barn
However, every now and then you come across a glorious little pocket that has not tried to blend into the multi-cultural surroundings, and is absolute determined to retain the characteristics of the motherland.
For no discernable reason, completely at odds with the surrounding towns, you will stumble upon oompah bands in German villages in the Adelaide Hills (Hahndorf), or Spanish monastic communities an hour’s drive away from Perth (New Norcia).
Little Holland
Deserving a special mention for sheer bloody-mindedness, however, is Little Holland near Coffs Harbour, New South Wales. Clearly unable to persuade the rest of the area that they should build cannabis cafes, stick their fingers in dykes and revel in red light districts, proud Dutchman Tom Hartsuyker has cornered off his own piece of (flat) land, and has filled it with every other national stereotype he can think of.
The result is a 1/20 scale model village built over five tedious years, and it is a work of truly breathtaking pointlessness. Still, if making miniature windmills keeps him out of trouble and off the streets, then fair play to him.
Just in case that’s not quite Dutch enough, it is attached to a clog barn. Happily ignoring the fact that no-one, even in Holland, has worn clogs for roughly 200 years, they are on sale here.
At 11am and 4pm every day, there are clog-making demonstrations. Again, they are strangely endearing, even if everyone is looking at each other, sniggering under their hands and scratching their foreheads.
Getting to the Clog Barn and Little Holland, Coffs Harbour
Nearest International Airport: Coffs Harbour has its own airport, but it only receives domestic flights. Coffs itself is roughly half way between Sydney and Brisbane, and thus a long drive from either. The best option is to fly into Sydney Kingsford Smith and then get a connecting flight.
Within Coffs Harbour: The Clog Barn and Little Holland is on the north side of Coffs Harbour, on the highway out of town – on the way to The Big Banana. Entry to the Clog Barn and the demonstrations are free, but you’ll have to fork out to see the model village and railway.
More information: The Clog Barn
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
Anglesea Golf Club in Anglesea, Victoria, Australia: Golf with kangaroos
There is an exceptionally good reason why no mega-money golf tournament will ever be played at Anglesea Golf Club at the start of Victoria’s Great Ocean Road.
The course, about 115km south west of Melbourne, is absolutely teeming with kangaroos. They are as much a hazard of playing there as sand traps, water hazards and sadistically placed pins.
In the early morning and late afternoon in particular, there can be up to 100 of them on the course, hopping across fairways and stopping for a chat on the greens. To the members and locals, they’re an accepted extra dimension to the game.
Many have been hit on the head after not paying attention to the cry of “fore”, and club legend has it that a drive once landed in a pouch, with the lucky recipient nonchalantly bouncing away. Whether it was decided that this warranted a penalty shot is not quite clear.
Green fees at the club are quite cheap, so visitors wanting to try and dodge Skippy are welcome to have a go.
Getting to Anglesea Golf Club, Australia
Nearest international airport: Melbourne International Airport at Tullamarine, Melbourne, Victoria. That said, Avalon Airport near Geelong is closer for domestic flights within Australia.
Using public transport: Get the train (or bus) from Melbourne to Geelong, and then the V-Line train to Anglesea.
More details: Anglesea Golf Club Website
The course, about 115km south west of Melbourne, is absolutely teeming with kangaroos. They are as much a hazard of playing there as sand traps, water hazards and sadistically placed pins.
In the early morning and late afternoon in particular, there can be up to 100 of them on the course, hopping across fairways and stopping for a chat on the greens. To the members and locals, they’re an accepted extra dimension to the game.
Many have been hit on the head after not paying attention to the cry of “fore”, and club legend has it that a drive once landed in a pouch, with the lucky recipient nonchalantly bouncing away. Whether it was decided that this warranted a penalty shot is not quite clear.
Green fees at the club are quite cheap, so visitors wanting to try and dodge Skippy are welcome to have a go.
Getting to Anglesea Golf Club, Australia
Nearest international airport: Melbourne International Airport at Tullamarine, Melbourne, Victoria. That said, Avalon Airport near Geelong is closer for domestic flights within Australia.
Using public transport: Get the train (or bus) from Melbourne to Geelong, and then the V-Line train to Anglesea.
More details: Anglesea Golf Club Website
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Hutt River Principality, Australia
Being the leader of a nation has got to be a tough job. No matter what you do, everyone seems to think you’re screwing them over, and you’ve got all those nasty vital decisions that affect the future of the world to make. Then again, you can have a bit of fun raiding the state coffers and imposing laws that suit you. No more short people holding umbrellas at eye poking-out height, the Black Eyed Peas outlawed, and all trustafarians with dreadlocks who bang on about Thailand could be jailed without trial.
It’s all just ponderings and contemplation though. Most of us will never be in that position anyway unless we take the lead of Leonard Casley.
You’ve probably not heard of him, but he is otherwise known as Prince Leonard, and he rules a micronation called The Hutt River Principality, which is about the size of Hong Kong. Not exactly a major player on the world scene, this self-declared state is nestled within the confines of Western Australia, and its story is pretty damn cool.
History of the Hutt River Principality
Back in 1969, Casley was merely a disgruntled wheat farmer who was pissed off about harsh quotas being imposed upon him. Whilst most farmers would have written letters to their MP, Casley took a more drastic course of action, and declared his land an independent nation. After searching through obscure British laws, he decided that it was perfectly legal to do this, and neither the Western Australian Government nor the Australian Federal Government has sent in the troops to take the land back. It remains the only bloodless secession in history, although the arguments still rumble on. In 1997, Hutt River Principality actually declared war on Australia after another petty squabble, but Canberra couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it.
Hutt River Principality today
What started as a reproach for the people in charge has now snowballed into something very strange. There are over 13,000 citizens of Hutt River Principality worldwide (although very few actually live there), and the breakaway principality has issued currency, stamps and passports. Companies can be registered there, in a similar fashion to those who register iffy businesses in the Cayman Islands to avoid people finding anything out about them. It’s also become a bit of a tourist curiosity.
Getting to Hutt River Principality, Western Australia
About 90km up the main road from Geraldton is where you’ll find the turn off, and you’ll not meet with any border controls. You can, however, get your passport stamped, and buy tacky souvenirs from a shop, where you’ll more than likely be served by Princess Shirley, the wife of the self-proclaimed Prince. Now, how often have you been sold a postcard by a member of a Royal Family?
More information on the Hutt River Province and acquiring dual citizenship.
It’s all just ponderings and contemplation though. Most of us will never be in that position anyway unless we take the lead of Leonard Casley.
You’ve probably not heard of him, but he is otherwise known as Prince Leonard, and he rules a micronation called The Hutt River Principality, which is about the size of Hong Kong. Not exactly a major player on the world scene, this self-declared state is nestled within the confines of Western Australia, and its story is pretty damn cool.
History of the Hutt River Principality
Back in 1969, Casley was merely a disgruntled wheat farmer who was pissed off about harsh quotas being imposed upon him. Whilst most farmers would have written letters to their MP, Casley took a more drastic course of action, and declared his land an independent nation. After searching through obscure British laws, he decided that it was perfectly legal to do this, and neither the Western Australian Government nor the Australian Federal Government has sent in the troops to take the land back. It remains the only bloodless secession in history, although the arguments still rumble on. In 1997, Hutt River Principality actually declared war on Australia after another petty squabble, but Canberra couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it.
Hutt River Principality today
What started as a reproach for the people in charge has now snowballed into something very strange. There are over 13,000 citizens of Hutt River Principality worldwide (although very few actually live there), and the breakaway principality has issued currency, stamps and passports. Companies can be registered there, in a similar fashion to those who register iffy businesses in the Cayman Islands to avoid people finding anything out about them. It’s also become a bit of a tourist curiosity.
Getting to Hutt River Principality, Western Australia
About 90km up the main road from Geraldton is where you’ll find the turn off, and you’ll not meet with any border controls. You can, however, get your passport stamped, and buy tacky souvenirs from a shop, where you’ll more than likely be served by Princess Shirley, the wife of the self-proclaimed Prince. Now, how often have you been sold a postcard by a member of a Royal Family?
More information on the Hutt River Province and acquiring dual citizenship.
Saturday, 23 August 2008
Climbing trees in Western Australia's South West
The three major ‘climbing trees’ around Pemberton in the South West of Western Australia are the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree, the Gloucester Tree and the Diamond Tree. And they’re terrifying, as I discovered when I tried climbing the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree.
Childlike dream
It is many a man’s dream to be a child again. The constant diet of icecream and fishfingers, the ability to get away with saying and doing bad things because adults think it’s cute, work being a particularly tough sum in maths… it’s enough to make anyone go nostalgic.
Arguably, though, the best thing about being a child again would be regaining that complete lack of fear. Cars can’t run you over, you’ll never fall off anything, and playing with matches won’t hurt a bit. You can also gleefully scamper up precarious-looking trees whilst adults look on and wince.
Tree climbing in the Pemberton Forest
Nowadays, tree climbing is a bit more risk-packed. It takes a considerable amount of alcohol to feel infallible these days, and the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree in the Pemberton Forest of South West WA is a thing of stomach-tightening fear rather than glorious opportunity.
Warren National Park
In the Warren National Park, 10km south of Pemberton, this karri tree soars 69m in the air, and someone has thoughtfully built a flimsy looking staircase around it. As protection, you have a mesh that is little better than chicken wire, and you are treading on thin strips of wire. One misplaced foot, therefore, and you’re going to be in an awful lot of trouble.
Fear of heights – not ideal for the task in hand
Hate heights. Hate them, hate them, hate them with knobs on. Climbing something so high and blatantly dangerous is not my idea of fun, but with the rest of the group chickening out (Boo! Hiss!), someone has to restore some honour.
Gingerly stepping onto the first rung, it mercifully doesn’t give way under my elephant weight, but my legs start to turn to jelly as soon as an unsafe jump-off distance is reached.
Viewing platform
Roughly a third of the way up is a viewing/ recovery from impending asthma attack platform. Great view, lovely trees, but after you’ve just clambered up the equivalent of a two story building, any pictures you attempt to take are liable to be shakier than a blancmange on a particularly vigorous washing machine. Especially when there’s the best part of the climb to go, and then the getting down part…
Getting to the top of the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree
After about twenty minutes of self-flagellation about being a coward to back out now, it’s time to start the baby steps again. Taking on every rung is a triumph of willpower, knowing that coming down is going to be even more terrifying.
‘Aided’ by shouts from the ground of “Look out for the missing rung” and “If you fall, you’ll probably die instantly – no pain,” somehow the top section is conquered. Once there it’s easy to imagine how Sir Edmund Hillary felt. The biggest kid, up the biggest tree of all, the king of the playground.
Then, of course, there is the matter of getting back down. Any chance of a helicopter ride chaps?
Getting to the Pemberton climbing trees in Australia
Nearest International Airport: Perth
Using public transport: The trees themselves – all of which are around Pemberton – are not easy to get to by public transport, but are within a short enough taxi ride. To get to Pemberton from Perth, use the direct TransWA bus.
Childlike dream
It is many a man’s dream to be a child again. The constant diet of icecream and fishfingers, the ability to get away with saying and doing bad things because adults think it’s cute, work being a particularly tough sum in maths… it’s enough to make anyone go nostalgic.
Arguably, though, the best thing about being a child again would be regaining that complete lack of fear. Cars can’t run you over, you’ll never fall off anything, and playing with matches won’t hurt a bit. You can also gleefully scamper up precarious-looking trees whilst adults look on and wince.
Tree climbing in the Pemberton Forest
Nowadays, tree climbing is a bit more risk-packed. It takes a considerable amount of alcohol to feel infallible these days, and the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree in the Pemberton Forest of South West WA is a thing of stomach-tightening fear rather than glorious opportunity.
Warren National Park
In the Warren National Park, 10km south of Pemberton, this karri tree soars 69m in the air, and someone has thoughtfully built a flimsy looking staircase around it. As protection, you have a mesh that is little better than chicken wire, and you are treading on thin strips of wire. One misplaced foot, therefore, and you’re going to be in an awful lot of trouble.
Fear of heights – not ideal for the task in hand
Hate heights. Hate them, hate them, hate them with knobs on. Climbing something so high and blatantly dangerous is not my idea of fun, but with the rest of the group chickening out (Boo! Hiss!), someone has to restore some honour.
Gingerly stepping onto the first rung, it mercifully doesn’t give way under my elephant weight, but my legs start to turn to jelly as soon as an unsafe jump-off distance is reached.
Viewing platform
Roughly a third of the way up is a viewing/ recovery from impending asthma attack platform. Great view, lovely trees, but after you’ve just clambered up the equivalent of a two story building, any pictures you attempt to take are liable to be shakier than a blancmange on a particularly vigorous washing machine. Especially when there’s the best part of the climb to go, and then the getting down part…
Getting to the top of the Dave Evans Bicentennial Tree
After about twenty minutes of self-flagellation about being a coward to back out now, it’s time to start the baby steps again. Taking on every rung is a triumph of willpower, knowing that coming down is going to be even more terrifying.
‘Aided’ by shouts from the ground of “Look out for the missing rung” and “If you fall, you’ll probably die instantly – no pain,” somehow the top section is conquered. Once there it’s easy to imagine how Sir Edmund Hillary felt. The biggest kid, up the biggest tree of all, the king of the playground.
Then, of course, there is the matter of getting back down. Any chance of a helicopter ride chaps?
Getting to the Pemberton climbing trees in Australia
Nearest International Airport: Perth
Using public transport: The trees themselves – all of which are around Pemberton – are not easy to get to by public transport, but are within a short enough taxi ride. To get to Pemberton from Perth, use the direct TransWA bus.
Monday, 18 August 2008
The Pub With No Beer in Taylor’s Arm, New South Wales, Australia
Made famous by legendary Australian singer Slim Dusty, this hostelry no longer lives up to its name.
The Pub With No Beer, near Kempsey, New South Wales, now has plenty of beer. It even has its own brewery.
Local songwriter Gordon Parsons immortalised what used to be known as the Cosmopolitan Hotel when it allegedly went dry back in the 1950s. The song was recorded by Slim Dusty, and the rest is history. And, boy, have the owners cashed in on the good PR.
The Pub With No Beer now has accommodation, live entertainment and the sort of fancy bistro menu that doesn’t really fit the Dusty image.
But before the trades descriptions people come a-knocking, where better to toast Australia Day with a cold one in hand, a band playing classics in the background and good old-fashioned Aussie tucker on the menu?
More information: Pub With No Beer
The Pub With No Beer, near Kempsey, New South Wales, now has plenty of beer. It even has its own brewery.
Local songwriter Gordon Parsons immortalised what used to be known as the Cosmopolitan Hotel when it allegedly went dry back in the 1950s. The song was recorded by Slim Dusty, and the rest is history. And, boy, have the owners cashed in on the good PR.
The Pub With No Beer now has accommodation, live entertainment and the sort of fancy bistro menu that doesn’t really fit the Dusty image.
But before the trades descriptions people come a-knocking, where better to toast Australia Day with a cold one in hand, a band playing classics in the background and good old-fashioned Aussie tucker on the menu?
More information: Pub With No Beer
Friday, 15 August 2008
Tazmazia near Sheffield, Tasmania, Australia
Getting lost on holiday
For many of us, getting lost whilst on holiday is a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Even from a young age, we are programmed to shudder at the thought of dad driving faster, refusing to ask for directions, whilst mum makes pitiful attempts to read a map.
However, there are clearly some out there who get a big kick out of wandering around aimlessly, barking up dead ends in a bid to find something.
World’s largest maze?
For these people, the predictably-named Tasmazia, near Sheffield in the north of Tasmania, Australia, is the stuff of dreams. It purports to be have the world’s largest maze, plus six others with varying themes.
The polite phrase for it would be ‘eccentric’, and the impolite one ‘mad as snakes’. It is the brainchild of a lavender farmer who, perhaps quite accurately, prefers to go under the name of Laird Crackpot of Lower Crackpot.
Brian Inder (as he was known to his mum), and his wife Laura, are the sort of people that have longed so much for their own little world, that they have simply created one themselves.
Inspired by Hampton Court Palace
The inspiration has clearly come from far and wide. One of the mazes is an exact replica of the famous one at Hampton Court Palace in England, another has a Wizard Of Oz theme, whilst there is a memorial to the inventor of the toilet at the end of the utterly infuriating Cage maze.
But it goes well beyond the painstakingly sculpted hedgerows and walls. The Crackpots have also created themselves a village. Admittedly, even Hobbits, Munchkins and Oompah-Loompahs would struggle to fit into it, but the 20% scale models are frighteningly detailed.
From churches to banks
Not prepared to settle for just a couple of identikit houses, they have created churches, pubs, radio stations and banks, plus the cheap gag of a ‘GST house’ – one tenth is missing.
There is also a decidedly seedy side to Lower Crackpot. The more adult end of town has less-than-salubrious joints such as Wild Jo’s Disco and the Dirty Shame. The less said about what the Little Lilliputian types are getting up to in there, the better.
For all the family
While ostensibly aimed at children, who will always attack a maze with obdurate gusto, it is probably adults who will get more out of it. The level of effort and intricacy put in is genuinely applaudable, even if you’d never dream of going to such lengths yourself. And the clever little touches make it far preferable to arguing over whether you should be reading a map upside down or stopping a passer-by to ask where the hell you are.
Getting to Tazmazia
Tasmazia is in the Cradle Mountain and Lakes District, by Lake Barrington and a short drive South West of Sheffield.
For many of us, getting lost whilst on holiday is a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Even from a young age, we are programmed to shudder at the thought of dad driving faster, refusing to ask for directions, whilst mum makes pitiful attempts to read a map.
However, there are clearly some out there who get a big kick out of wandering around aimlessly, barking up dead ends in a bid to find something.
World’s largest maze?
For these people, the predictably-named Tasmazia, near Sheffield in the north of Tasmania, Australia, is the stuff of dreams. It purports to be have the world’s largest maze, plus six others with varying themes.
The polite phrase for it would be ‘eccentric’, and the impolite one ‘mad as snakes’. It is the brainchild of a lavender farmer who, perhaps quite accurately, prefers to go under the name of Laird Crackpot of Lower Crackpot.
Brian Inder (as he was known to his mum), and his wife Laura, are the sort of people that have longed so much for their own little world, that they have simply created one themselves.
Inspired by Hampton Court Palace
The inspiration has clearly come from far and wide. One of the mazes is an exact replica of the famous one at Hampton Court Palace in England, another has a Wizard Of Oz theme, whilst there is a memorial to the inventor of the toilet at the end of the utterly infuriating Cage maze.
But it goes well beyond the painstakingly sculpted hedgerows and walls. The Crackpots have also created themselves a village. Admittedly, even Hobbits, Munchkins and Oompah-Loompahs would struggle to fit into it, but the 20% scale models are frighteningly detailed.
From churches to banks
Not prepared to settle for just a couple of identikit houses, they have created churches, pubs, radio stations and banks, plus the cheap gag of a ‘GST house’ – one tenth is missing.
There is also a decidedly seedy side to Lower Crackpot. The more adult end of town has less-than-salubrious joints such as Wild Jo’s Disco and the Dirty Shame. The less said about what the Little Lilliputian types are getting up to in there, the better.
For all the family
While ostensibly aimed at children, who will always attack a maze with obdurate gusto, it is probably adults who will get more out of it. The level of effort and intricacy put in is genuinely applaudable, even if you’d never dream of going to such lengths yourself. And the clever little touches make it far preferable to arguing over whether you should be reading a map upside down or stopping a passer-by to ask where the hell you are.
Getting to Tazmazia
Tasmazia is in the Cradle Mountain and Lakes District, by Lake Barrington and a short drive South West of Sheffield.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Cuddle a koala
As I gently stroke her neck, ruffling her hair, Elise moves closer. I can feel the pounding of her heart, her warmth against my chest. Moving my hand down her back, she reaches for me, sliding her delicate wrist and hand further up my shoulder.
If Elise wasn’t a koala, this would be a truly romantic moment. As it is, she’s rather hairy and definitely not my type, but despite attempts to pretend I am being gruff and manly, I can’t help going “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww cuuuuute!” inside.
Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary
The Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane, Australia is one of the few places in the country, let alone the world, where you can get this up close and personal with a koala. The cuddling is strictly not allowed south of the Queensland border, and Lone Pine, being rather big, has a crack squad of koalas that can hug ever the sternest soul into submission.
There are strict rules that govern the man to beast bonding. The little furry things can only be handled for half an hour at a time, and must get every fourth day off. This ensures that they get plenty of time to eat and sleep, and aren’t just passed around like the salt pot at a High Cholesterol Anonymous dinner party.
Koalas? Dull?
I have to confess that, before this point, I have never been the greatest fan of koalas. From previous experience, they are really dull creatures, constantly sleeping and about as liable to do entertaining tricks as the world’s worst magician. However, here there must be something extra-special in the eucalyptus leaves. They actually do things, and two little cubs steal the show by clambering on each other, scurrying across the floor and leapfrogging their parents. I’m sorry koalas – I was completely wrong about you in the past.
Getting to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary
Nearest International Airport: Brisbane
Using public transport: Get bus number 430 from George Street.
More information: Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Wycliffe Well UFO Hotspot in Northern Territory, Australia
The cynical amongst us may question why, if super-intelligent beings from another planet were to come to earth in order to check out what humans are up to, they would choose a tiny roadhouse in the middle of the desert as their main point of reference.
Perhaps try a big city chaps – you’ll probably get a much better idea of things there. Watch all the films – those aliens have got the right idea. Smash up a few icons and pulverize a couple of famous suburbs, and we’ll soon know who’s boss.
However, even the most ardent non-believer would have to admit that, over the years, a disturbingly high amount of UFO sightings have been reported from this little outpost on the Stuart Highway.
Whether this is due to people going a little crazy being in the middle of nowhere or the fact that pretty much the only thing to do out this way is to drink copious amounts of alcohol, it’s not absolutely certain. There has to be some explanation though – UFO nuts have rated Wycliffe Well as the fifth biggest sightings hotspot in the world.
To say that the owner of the local roadhouse has leapt on this gimmick with enthusiasm is a categorical understatement. Lou Farkas has turned his modest establishment into a hilariously garish holiday park.
Just in case you weren’t aware that there may be a bit of extra-terrestrial activity, Farkas has plastered his property with alien paraphernalia.
The walls are covered in UFO, planet and night sky murals, whilst there are big plastic green men all over the place.
There’s a decidedly man-made ‘spaceship’ on what passes for a lawn and cautionary road signs warn of potential UFO landings providing a slight hazard. Whether it’s genuinely where aliens are planning to take over the world from, or a stroke of marketing genius, if you’re taking on that long, lonely trip up the middle of Australia, Wycliffe Well’s flying saucer shrine provides a welcome source of light relief.
Getting to Wycliffe Well, Northern Territory, Australia
Wycliffe Well is 375km north of Alice Springs and 135km south of Tennant Creek on the Stuart Highway in Central Australia. If, for some reason, you’d like to spend a bit of time chilling out in the virtually attraction-free holiday park, visit the website.
Nearest International Airport: For international flights, it’s Darwin. For domestic Australian flights, it’s Alice Springs.
Perhaps try a big city chaps – you’ll probably get a much better idea of things there. Watch all the films – those aliens have got the right idea. Smash up a few icons and pulverize a couple of famous suburbs, and we’ll soon know who’s boss.
However, even the most ardent non-believer would have to admit that, over the years, a disturbingly high amount of UFO sightings have been reported from this little outpost on the Stuart Highway.
Whether this is due to people going a little crazy being in the middle of nowhere or the fact that pretty much the only thing to do out this way is to drink copious amounts of alcohol, it’s not absolutely certain. There has to be some explanation though – UFO nuts have rated Wycliffe Well as the fifth biggest sightings hotspot in the world.
To say that the owner of the local roadhouse has leapt on this gimmick with enthusiasm is a categorical understatement. Lou Farkas has turned his modest establishment into a hilariously garish holiday park.
Just in case you weren’t aware that there may be a bit of extra-terrestrial activity, Farkas has plastered his property with alien paraphernalia.
The walls are covered in UFO, planet and night sky murals, whilst there are big plastic green men all over the place.
There’s a decidedly man-made ‘spaceship’ on what passes for a lawn and cautionary road signs warn of potential UFO landings providing a slight hazard. Whether it’s genuinely where aliens are planning to take over the world from, or a stroke of marketing genius, if you’re taking on that long, lonely trip up the middle of Australia, Wycliffe Well’s flying saucer shrine provides a welcome source of light relief.
Getting to Wycliffe Well, Northern Territory, Australia
Wycliffe Well is 375km north of Alice Springs and 135km south of Tennant Creek on the Stuart Highway in Central Australia. If, for some reason, you’d like to spend a bit of time chilling out in the virtually attraction-free holiday park, visit the website.
Nearest International Airport: For international flights, it’s Darwin. For domestic Australian flights, it’s Alice Springs.
The Devil’s Marbles in Central Australia – the eggs of the Rainbow Serpent?
In Australia’s Aboriginal culture, the Rainbow Serpent is thought to be responsible for carving out much of the landscape, as well as creating water sources and replenishing supplies. Many a story involves this great snake, which supposedly protects its people and punishes law-breakers. According to the indigenous Kaytetye people, it will have children too. They believe that the Devil’s Marbles, a scattering of huge mysterious boulders 114km south of Tennant Creek, are the Rainbow Serpent’s eggs.
The rocks still have a certain magical presence about them – and they’re one of the underrated highlights of Australia’s vast outback.
At sunrise, in particular, the lighting makes for incredibly atmospheric photography, whilst they’re great for scrambling over during the rest of the day. Just make sure you get there before the Rainbow Serpent’s eggs hatch.
Getting to the Devil’s Marbles, Northern Territory, Australia
Nearest international airport: The nearest international airport is Darwin, the capital of Australia’s Northern Territory. It acts as a hub to those wanting to fly into Australia on budget airlines. But that’s a good day’s drive away from Tennant Creek, let alone the Devil’s Marbles. Best to get a connecting flight to Alice Springs and drive up – but it’s still 375km.
Getting there by public transport: The Devil’s Marbles are in the middle of nowhere. Even if you can persuade the Greyhound bus to stop off there on the long road between Alice Springs and Darwin, it’s a long wait in the desert for the next one. The best option is to book onto a tour, or hire a car.
More information: Northern Territory Government website
The rocks still have a certain magical presence about them – and they’re one of the underrated highlights of Australia’s vast outback.
At sunrise, in particular, the lighting makes for incredibly atmospheric photography, whilst they’re great for scrambling over during the rest of the day. Just make sure you get there before the Rainbow Serpent’s eggs hatch.
Getting to the Devil’s Marbles, Northern Territory, Australia
Nearest international airport: The nearest international airport is Darwin, the capital of Australia’s Northern Territory. It acts as a hub to those wanting to fly into Australia on budget airlines. But that’s a good day’s drive away from Tennant Creek, let alone the Devil’s Marbles. Best to get a connecting flight to Alice Springs and drive up – but it’s still 375km.
Getting there by public transport: The Devil’s Marbles are in the middle of nowhere. Even if you can persuade the Greyhound bus to stop off there on the long road between Alice Springs and Darwin, it’s a long wait in the desert for the next one. The best option is to book onto a tour, or hire a car.
More information: Northern Territory Government website
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